Monthly Archives: October 2010

-_-

Today is Halloween.

Today i woke up feeling like sh!t. I don’t know why.

I feel like i’m missing something important, n i’m the one who pushed it away.

The broken arrow will be mended

Shashai..Xx

Advertisements

Food for thought

Life is a waterfall; you drink from the river

then you put up your walls.

Life is a journey; you always wanna go

but you never want to stay-

Life is a game, you always want to try

But you never want to lose.

-SOAD-


**Random things on my mind tonight**

Piazza di Spagna, Roma, Italy.

Piazza Di Spagna....a view from the Spanish Steps

On my mind right now:

  1. Sun
  2. Smirnoff Black Ice (Its not sold this side of the worLd..the fuck!)
  3. My italian ┬álesson that didn’t happen
  4. My mum
  5. How cute my nails look in purple nail polish
  6. How cute Basket Mouth (the comedian) is… ­čÖé
  7. I have to add something here because the list can’t end at 6 because its an unlucky number
  8. Shopping in Rome one day at the┬áCouture Boutiques at the Piazza Di Spagna…<<bliss>>
  9. I think I need to start my diet, as in 4real.
  10. I need to be more optimistic about things
  11. Haha…Taylor Swift + Vodka = Ke$ha…..Dead!

The broken arrow will be mended

Shashai..Xx


. . .Am i Expecting too much. . .

When your lover is way older than you and you’re barely out of teenagehood, you begin to think you have a problem.
You begin to want more than he can give, you want to find reasons why you shouldn’t be together, and its more or less a tug of war between the two of you, because you are seeing all the stuff that’s wrong with you guys and he is seeing how perfect his life is becoming.

She wished that was a problem between her and Mister A. He was 31 years old, and as someone aptly put it, he’s life was MADE. She on the other hand hasn’t even started living. Did she always want to impose on him? Making him pay for all the dinners in the expensive restaurants? No, I guess not.

How did they meet? She was out with her friends one Saturday night and he invited them to sit on their table because there was no space anywhere else…one drink became 2, and then before she knew it, she had given him her phone number. He called later to find out if she’d reached home ok. Then the next weekend again she invited him to watch her favourite band playing and then the next thing they knew they were in his car. And lets just say, they weren’t friends anymore. They became more. She tried to stop seeing him but he wasn’t taking No for an answer. Now she knew his house, she knew where the plates go and where the towels are . . .

And then when she started getting used to the fact that he wasn’t going to leave, it started getting weird. He told her she was too demanding. Her friends told her she has to stop causing so much drama. She found nothing wrong in asking where he was and with who. What nobody knew is that she was so scared inside. So scared of being alone. So happy right now that there was somebody on her arm whenever she went out in public. So she decided she had to out an end to this, she knew she would fall for him to a point that it would be hard to let him go. And then she did.

What do I learn from this unfortunate situation?

Personally and it has also been proven scientifically that girls mature faster than guys. Mothers (Mine included) are always pushing us to be self independent, learning how to cook, do the laundry, all that home making B***S*** and as ┬áa result the normal ones like me hate to do all these things but in the end it helps because we are more mature. The guys on the contrary are too attached to their mothers. The moms are afraid of letting go off their little babies. So you will never find a man in the kitchen, you won’t find him doing his own laundry even when he is 25 years old. And living with your mum isn’t cool at all. Like really!! I could go on and on

So if this girl fell for this guy, we should consider the reasons why.

  1. First of all we should consider the fact that they had intellectual conversations. They weren’t talking about marijuana or play station and all that nonsense. This is someone she could sit with, who would talk to her about the meaning of ┬álife, about people, about politics, about the importance of self-worth, about books,and she learned more and more.
  2. Relationships in which the man is substantially older are often viewed as unconventional, yet the man usually assumes a very traditional role, protecting and looking after his partner. And that is what she craved. The protection the assurance, the looking after. Which young guy can do that nowadays? They are so vain, thinking of nobody but themselves.
  3. An older guy is ready to settle down you know. He’s not like these young bucks who want to fuck like 30 women a year to be considered cool. He’s passed that stage in his life. He’s ready to be in just one relationship, and fully commit to it. And we aren’t talking about marriage.
  4. And maybe she just felt that he would be different, from the jerks she had dated. That eventually she would find that happiness she craved for so much.Cons
  1. That the man just wanted to get some with this young girl. Period.
  2. He wanted a pretty toy to show off to his friends
  3. He assumed that he wasn’t the only man in her life, because even though he denied it, he assumed he was too old, and there were better looking men than him
  4. She was scared of how society would judge her, he was scared too.
  5. He realised after the calls and the texts asking him where he was, she was to much of a child for him. She had to leave.

So you can say I’m for this kind of relationships because trust me there are no men left in this world:

Real men who call you in the morning to tell you to have a beautiful day, men who call the radio station that you are listening to at that particular time to dedicate you’re best song to you.

Men who aren’t afraid to hold you’re hand in public, men who aren’t afraid to kiss your forehead for nothing. Men who say I LOVE YOU first; those that aren’t afraid to say it first.

Men who understand that a ┬árelationship is a sacred thing, and again I AM NOT TALKING about marriage. And no, I’ve not watched too many movies.

I want a guy with ambition. Being a pusher is not a plus at all, being in school, and taking it seriously is. It means you can separate the important things and the bullshit.

I want a guy who spoils me rotten you know, not things that will make you go broke. Silly little things like the sweets she likes, all her favourite songs in a CD

I want a man who can be a true friend. Someone who will LISTEN to me. Someone I can share my good times and my problems with. Are you there when it matters most? Are you there for the small stuff, too?

A woman needs to feel beautiful, sexy, and feminine. She needs to enjoy all those things that comes with being a woman. You have to give the compliments where they are due.

So anyways, that’s what I had to say today. I believe in all that nonsense.

The broken arrow will be mended. S

Shashai…Xx



Belong*

I feel, I need a change.
I feel like you’ll all HAVE TO miss me when I’m gone.
A new culture, lots of pasta, a new reason to love??
Who knows?
All the shit av done this year,
All to prove that I can belong,
I think i realised to late that I would never belong.
And its sad that all i had to do was purpose to change.

So all of you good for nothing fucks,
who have made me like this,
I’m glad I met you,
I’m glad you taught me,
that I shouldn’t expect too much from people.
I trust to easily, I’m too freaking loyal,
You guys were my world
I would do anything for you.
I don’t think i did anything wrong, seriously i don’t.
So, i don’t see why you should treat me like this…

Fuck You All.

Funny how, after posting this, i’ll be calling you,

Fuck me too i guess ­čÖé


Before & After

BEFORE

  • I read a lot of books
  • I wrote equally as much
  • Piano was my voice
  • I was sad
  • I had more money
  • I had more ‘friends’
  • I was in a Relationship
  • I was goal oriented

Now

  • Indecisive
  • Easily influenced
  • Aware
  • I hate men
  • Expect goodness in everyone
  • I have real ┬áfriends
  • Single
  • Anything goes
  • I listen to Taylor Swift and JB

 

Lessons Learnt

  1. its never that serious
  2. smile more
  3. believe in me
  4. gain more confidence
  5. Invest in Red outfits..they do wonders for my self confidence and so does the Vodka!! <LONG LIVE VODKA>
  6. Love exists only for lucky people
  7. The friends i have are the ones I need

The broken arrow will be mended

Shashai…Xx


Funny How…

  1. even after all that I’ve proven to the parents, they still don’t trust me.
  2. funny how those closest to you have this way of letting you down the most
  3. The world doesn’t stop for your grief, same things when you die..
  4. How your dreams make you or break you
  5. you choose to let someone in, only for them to leave before you need them to
  6. you think you need change because someone else saw it fit
  7. family should be there most but they really aren’t
  8. the one I loved, grew out of love before I did
  9. I want this picture perfect life, but I’m still searching for the strength to pursue it
  10. funny how right now, I could just jump out the window and end this shit…but I won’t. I still believe not all is lost.

The Broken Arrow will be mended –

**Shashai**