Tag Archives: perspective

Perspective.

Today is a Tuesday afternoon. I’m watching CNN with my grandmother and they are talking about war going on in Congo…As in as far as my memory goes, they have been fighting always. It’s so sad that somewhere in the world that’s the only life people know. You are born into a family and there is war, you become of age, and you are recruited into the army and you continue to fight this war. And here I am complaining how difficult my life is. Nairobi is relatively peaceful. Yesterday though, there was an explosion in downtown Nairobi and it left a lot of people shaken up. I hope the Alshabaab group from Somali leaves us Kenyans alone!! 

Anyway, I decided today, I’m going to stop fretting about that MAN I have been going on in my last few posts. He made me happy, he took me from that sad place, but now it feels like i’ve reached my end point of taking bullshit from someone. I only take so much. Maybe stuff about me changed, maybe we aren’t compatible anymore. I don’t know. It hurts, but when me and M broke up, I was crushed, I have a whole semester to account for. I don’t want to have other aspects of my life suffering. I think I’m still not ready to have somebody in my life. I still need to accept things about myself, I need to be self confident and to stop second guessing myself so much. When that happens, then I am ready to let someone into my life. To know someone, and to deal with all their flaws and faults…take it all in, and at the end of the day still want to be with them. I blame myself for everything that goes on. I’m going to miss him but it’s time for me to take charge of my life. Life is so short, I’m letting a lot of good things go because am concentrating so much on this undefined relationship. 

My best friend and I are planning a trip. To the South Coast of Kenya. I need to save up for that after I buy my blackberry. This trip we will take is going to be full of bonding and fun and relaxing. There will be no electronics and we will leave our cell phones and laptops in the City. Only cameras to capture the moments. I feel like I need it. To get away from all this bull I have going on in my life right now…those trips really do it for me. I remember when I went to my grandparents farm last December, when I came back I had a different perspective in life.

Its all about perspective. Get yours in check.

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A different Monday :)

Monday!! Very few can say something positive about Mondays…I’ve never liked them since I was  kid, because it meant having to sleep very early on Sunday to wake up early for school!! And put on that uniform.. I can’t believe I had uniform for 12years of my life!! Wowzers, I’m so OLD!!

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Today, as always, I write about nothing in particular, last night I worked till around 8pm, Thank God and I was so happy because since Thursday, I’ve been having 4hours of sleep because of 1. Work and 2. Staying up thinking about a) My Life in general b) Chilling and Drinking with my friends

So yesterday I actually got the chance to put 9hours in, and that resulted in me having a happy morning..A HAPPY MONDAY MORNING at that!!

Last night I was going through a blog about this Kenyan chick I know, who swears she’s homophobic but she reads this gay guys blog, and she really likes it, she even recommends it to her readers…ironical much?? she went on and on about how she hates this and that, and to say the truth I read all her posts, like 1st I was jealous because I’ve never used the word digress in my life and I feel so stupid..So i promise to learn a BIG word everyday and try to use it the next day..but besides the point, I know this girl, we aren’t friends or acquaintances we know each other by virtue of the fact that my friend and her friend used to date each other…but that’s about it. You know how when you see someone and you think that they are perfect…the Marilyn piercing that I’m too chicken to get, the nice boobs that EVERYONE both CHICKS and guys can’t help but drool at…compared to me, yes, I think I’m pretty and everything but of course I lack in A LOT of places….so reading her blog yesterday, this girl that I thought had everything that I didn’t, made me  smile because just like every girl in this world she has the same insecurities that I have, the same thoughts about sexuality, Spirituality, ex boyfriends, Justin Bieber (Who looks like a girl with the whole lesbian vibes going on), hating other girls just because, and silly stuff that doesn’t make sense….and I felt normal…I didn’t feel like I stand out a lot anymore. I always thought I did, but I don’t.

So I’m going to thank this GIRL for making me feel normal, because really I am, even though I’m attracted to all the wrong things…but I guess they call it growth…we live, and we learn.

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Today someone posted this link on twitter of a video on Youtube, a South African group called Liquideep..very GOOD…I was going to write on twitter how I think Kenyan artistes need to step up from the bullshit that they think is MUSIC and smell the coffee!! Then I didn’t because I have some followers on twitter who are the said Kenyan artistes and I didn’t want drama!! So since this is my blog, I will write whatever I want. I am seriously tired of Kenyan music, I can’t stand it. I like Sauti Sol and Just a Band, and Maddtraxx…the rest can go suck tit!! We are tired of you singing about drinking, partying, who has more money than who…And I’m so embarassed when I’m chilling with my friends and they ask to hear music from home (not the Masaai guys jumping jumping till sijui which planet ) and I’m so embarassed….So I have two CDs with me that I always just put on rewind, because thats the only music I’m proud of….ok I know someone somewhere is telling me that there is Valerie Kimani and Eric Wainaina, I know…!! I know that they are there, but really these people and their tuscandals that are just publicity stunts, I can’t stand…So in short everyone else is moving but us…one of my closest friends is a musician, a rapper of sorts….I’ve listened to his stuff, and I’m so proud that he can work that sh!t, but in essence, I know there are many like him, who maybe use blogs to promote their music…because maybe they are scared to get into the mainstream Kenyan market.  I am aware there is demand for these party songs that everyone wants to bob their head to and there is the pressure to produce those type of songs..But i’m sure i’m not the only one out here, who wants to listen to good music, with good beats, with a message…I think its time Africa stopped being associated with AIDS, slums, wild animals and Maasais….If we made good music, I’m sure we would be on the map, and Kenyans like me in the diaspora would be proud to invite bands to come perform in their cities….I can say I have the means to organise a concert right now, but nobody comes to mind right now. Every Friday I have a concert here, and there’s different local bands that come out to play…real talent, I’m shocked that they haven’t gotten signed to big recording powerhouses. I feel so nice watching them perform, and then I think of home and I’m so embarassed…I really can’t see why Kenyan artists would be proud and say they have FIKAD…its really NOTHING…get over yourselves!! ION I really love House Music. <<hint hint Kenyan artistes!!

the broken arrow will be mended….xx

If anyone wants to recommend some good African House music, get at me…please, I’m on a high!!

My song of the week!! >>Liquideep – Alone<<   SouthAfrican artistes have FIKAD 🙂

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Food for thought

Life is a waterfall; you drink from the river

then you put up your walls.

Life is a journey; you always wanna go

but you never want to stay-

Life is a game, you always want to try

But you never want to lose.

-SOAD-