Tag Archives: relationship

March was Awesome.

Exams are coming up in 2days. I am prepared…I feel like I am. The past month, March was so good to me. I feel like I have never been at a happier place in my life. I feel like am on a constant high of happiness. I think the new man in my life that I mentioned in the earlier blog is responsible.

I have been through so much BS with men, I felt like I was done, then God sent this amazing guy who actually really likes me. Who appreciates me, who finds the weirdest things I do to be the cutest things ever. He tells me am beautiful, he knows what to say when I’m feeling sad. And for him, I think it’s the same thing for him. We realised yesterday that we started talking like each other.

It’s been so long since I felt fucking revered. I appreciate that feeling so much. I  want somebody that respects me, who understands me, who adores me, who gives me insight on things. I don’t want people who promote ganja or drink themselves to a stupor or who believe Sex is oxygen. That’s an immature person that cannot sustain a conversation…and those are so important to me, conversations I mean. I want somebody who has ambition, to be something, somebody…who even though they are 21years old, has the sense to avoid self destructive behaviour. I got myself an Old Soul, I like old souls…An old soul is a young person ie 22years old who is mature and doesn’t think like the average 22year old in society right now.

I digress. Exams are coming up. The end of the semester. I am so happy! I hate exams, but the next three weeks are going to be hectic for me. They come to an end on the 27th. I can’t wait for that weekend!! I’m gonna go crazy!


2011 can end now, thanks

December is finally here.

I think this year was just.

I don’t even know.

It gave me shit, I gave it attitude, I found love, I lost it.

There were far too many disappointments though, too many. I was so happy with the way the year started, everything was filled with happiness, everything was just radiating positivity.  I am sure things stopped being filled with images of pink unicorns and rainbows at some point around July, when I lost that one person that I loved (finally) to something that until this day, I cannot say what. I don’t know why God made me that I have to have someone in my life so that I can feel like my life is complete and that happiness can only be achieved when you have somebody in your life who feels the same way as you do. But i can say, that I regret. I regret my Illicit love, that’s what’s fucked up the rest of my year for me. And I did nothing wrong. Just wish I could go back to the beginning of the year and just rethink. I was too into this free spirit bullshit, I dint sit down and think about what would happen if this relationship took a turn for the worst.I never thought that far. Who does anyway? Who wants to think of impending doom when all you want to do is enjoy every moment that you have with the person that you love?

I’m thinking next year, that HAS TO change completely. I said to myself that this was going to be my last relationship, I have dated enough for my mere 20 years. I have been with people from all walks of life, that I’m sure. No more relationship bullshit for me next year. zero. And i’ll survive I know. I’m the one that complicated my life. A friend was telling me that everythig that i touch, I complicate. That’s very true. Another thing I’m doing is cutting out those stress factors in my life.

And i need to save. And i need to stop drinking to numb myself, that’s destructive behavior. I started doing that in August. And smoking too; though the smoking began way before….it’s reduced though 🙂 I’m happy with the progress av made thus far.

My Playlist right now:

Nneka – Heartbeat

Bruno Mars – It will rain

Florence and the machine – What the water gave me

Avicii- Levels

Ingrid Michaelson – Sort of

Bill Withers – Lovely Day

Dela – Adamu na Hawa

 


The 3Ls

I woke up in the morning with an allergic reaction and I took some medicine that made me sleep the whole day, meaning I had to skip work. I didn’t do anything with myself, no work, no english lesson – the student I was meant to meet went to the spa today and she sent me a text that she will go tomorrow and Friday too. I wish we could trade places.

I can’t wait to go home, the days are so few already. But something interesting happened today, I talked to my babe, technically we haven’t made it official or anything and I wish I could go stand outside on my rooftop terrace and shout till they hear me. I like that we’re taking things slow, and that we were friends before anything, and we understand each other. Nobody, knows what I really feel inside, when I’m hurting, when I’m happy – but I can talk about this things with this person.

And very few people know about us, its better to keep it that way because I’m superstitious like that. I don’t want people to jinx the relationship even before it ‘starts’. But I’m in a happy place. I won’t stop saying that. And its because of this new addition in my life. . . Today we were talking and this is what I said:

Life is so unpredictable and short, I can’t make myself suffer…Drake sums up everything I’m tryna say here: Everybody dies but not everybody lives…I don’t want to just exist, I want to live.

And I swear I’ve never felt so alive…doing things that you want to do, being with people that you want to be with, saying things that you want to say…why shouldn’t life be that simple?? It can be.

Live

Laugh

Love.
Life is too fucking short…#truestory

xx


Its A beautiful Life

I’ve been busy lately, but I try to talk to God. I’d like to believe he’s listening anyway. I would much rather live my life believing there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life believing there isn’t a God and die to find our there is.

I’d like to say I stand up for what i believe and know what I’ve done is right no matter what other people think. “We judge ourselves by what we feel we’re capable of doing, while others judge us by what we’ve already done.” (long fellow) I live for those moments that take my breath away.

I know 2 people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. i believe If you really love it, you shouldn’t question it? Falling in love is beautiful, but a beautiful thing is never perfect. I’d never choose between my friends and the one I love.

“Take Time to think and to pinpoint what’s really important in your life.” (Martin) Love has no eyes, but love is not blind. I love hearing I’m beautiful, because when a guy tells you you’re beautiful, he’s looking at your heart. I love falling asleep listening to the rain. I love all night phone calls and waking up to realize i have a few more hours to sleep.

I love talking with my friends and laughing til our faces hurt, telling jokes no one else will ever understand. We don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I can laugh at myself, but I still cry if i get my feelings hurt. Sometimes it hurts a lot more to smile in front of everyone than to cry when you’re alone.

My very first kiss was my worst, but I know my last will be my best. I’ve learned that nothing will ever be like the first time, it might be better or it might be worse.

I believe the best things in life are unseen and that’s why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream. I’m a dreamer and i talk in my sleep, that’s the only place I know no one can hear me.

I tell myself things like…don’t walk in the shadows, there’s always tomorrow and i’m right where I want and need to be. “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice, it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” (Bryan)

Sometimes It hurts while it’s happening. Just know It may be over, but it won’t stop here. “To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.” (Stevenson)

sometimes I want to make myself feel everything but it turns into nothing. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret…it could change your life forever and you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. But How will you ever know til you try?

This is MY beautiful life. The only things certain is everything and everyone changes. Lows and the highs, and all those goodbyes. As hard as it gets i know it’s still amazing to be alive. …It’s a beautiful life