So shocking revelations were made to me on Valentines Day. Here I was the day before ranting and raving how my life is just a bowl of shit….I think I spoke too soon…:D
So, a friend of mine from Italy let it slip that she likes me a lot and that she wanted to tell me sooner/before I left but I was seeing somebody at the time and it felt like it was a bad idea. She had the most beautiful girlfriend honestly. I was thinking about it that day and asking myself, honestly I’ve got nothing on the ex….beauty is in the eye of the beholder..LOL
But I was also thinking, WHAT IF she fucking told me? It wouldn’t have heart to explore that avenue. I would have applied to school in Milan and seen how that would pan out. Now we’ll never know. So many missed opportunities because of M. Honestly, I refused school in the states, I could have had a shot at happiness? So many things are going through my mind right now. Anyway, it sucks on so many levels, but I’m happy that she let me know. Even though it was a little too late.
I hate leading a double life. I really do. I wish I was older, had my own money and a job that took me to New York or L.A where everyone minds their own business and you live your life. Living in Kenya and being yourself is such a difficult thing, everybody in your business, everybody feeling like they have to contribute towards an aspect of your life..I honestly hate it. But a friend of mine and I were arguing about this issue and he told me that we are all over people’s shit because at the end of the day, whatever an individual does impacts society. You can’t be all free spirit and shit when there are people somewhere i.e Kids who are looking up to you….ofcourse, I couldn’t care less..But I saw his point.
I’m feeling so uninspired with Law school, I got my results today. They are good! 🙂